I remember what it was like to be home with my oldest during that first year. My husband would pack up his lunch in the morning, grab his coffee and keys, give us both a kiss, and walk out the door for what felt like an eternity. I loved spending time with my son, and I wouldn’t have changed my choice to be home, but damn, was it ever lonely. When Trevor came home from work he would be bombarded with questions, thoughts, and simple musings from the day because I didn’t have another grown up to talk to! My day consisted of baby talk, playing with toys, cleaning spit up off my shirt, and endless amounts of feeding.
Don’t get me wrong, we wouldn’t stay inside all day – we lived in midtown Toronto (Yonge and Davisville) so we had access to the beautiful Beltline Trail right outside of our home, the subway station a short distance away, a lovely park, and a pretty safe neighbourhood to wander through. So we did spend a lot of time exploring Toronto, but what I would have given to meet up with a friend or have someone come over during the day to hold the baby while I showered or made something to eat. (Getting nap trapped is a very real thing, and if you haven’t yet, you WILL get nap trapped at some point!)
Trevor and I had many conversations about how we were adjusting to life with a baby, and the lack of freedom we were both experiencing. From my perspective, Trevor was able to go to work, talk to other grown ups all day, and focus on something other than parenting, which are things I envied with all my heart. From Trevor’s perspective, he would go to work and put in a full day, then come home and put in a full evening of parenting. Work + work = exhausting.
We were both exhausted, and what might have made life a little easier for me was having a village. Virtually, I had my sisters who were always available for a video chat or phone call, and friends that would say “Let me know if you need anything” but the thought of imposing on someone was overwhelming that it became difficult to reach out at all. All I wanted was for someone to bring me a tea and give me a hug. So, here are some ideas for you to find some company if you’re feeling stuck at home alone, and perhaps need to be freed from your own nap trap!
Local Facebook Groups
Hop on Facebook and make a post about yourself and how you’re looking for some company. Chances are, someone else is looking for company too! See if there are any events or meet ups coming soon you could bring your baby to – there are lots of exercise groups just like this, and the KW Moms Club is always hosting events.
At least in Guelph, there are “Baby’s Morning Out” where you can sign up for 30-45 minutes of social time with other babies, with someone singing songs and playing games to give your baby some enrichment. This is a great opportunity to connect with other parents – don’t be shy, get yourself out there! Check out what different events are going on at your local library.
Similar to the library, the EarlyON Center has classes for babies and parents to socialize with others, like story time and music time. Each location is different, so check out what’s going on in your area.
There’s an app for that! I have no affiliation with it whatsoever and I have not received any paid advertising for it, but one app I know of is the Peanut App. It’s basically like Tinder but for Mom friends. Something like this might be worth checking out if you really want to get out of the house and make some new friends.
[Communication is key. Always voice your feelings with a safe person, and if you’re struggling during your postpartum period, reach out to a professional like your doctor or therapist for help.]
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